Disgusting Endings, a letter from your editor
Sparkle mag subscribers,
As a life coach it is imperative for you to keep updated on my personal life, and yes, this include the current state of my rashes.
On Saturday I finally bid farewell to New Jersey. I will make it my life duty to spread a smear campaign on this god forsaken state. Mickey Marinara once told me he wanted to clean up the streets of New Jersey but we all knew this was such a dirty lie because we all know Mickey Marinara is a dirty… dirty… Jew. I am not going to get much further in to the politics of the Great Horror state of NJ but I will have to say that Patricia “Chicken” Pattie promised me a extra large lasagna plate if I voted for her.
The day before leaving NJ I was silently raped in my sleep by a gaggle of bed bugs that left the scent of Axe Body spay and a few coupons to a nearby tanning booth.
Before I could actually go home, I had to go to atop a mountain in the Poconos so I could turn in some paper work to a harpie that wears crown made of broken frame glass and held together by newborn foreskin.
Me and My partner turn in our paperwork to the accountant ,whos actually a talking cow with a wig on her head. She vomited on the desk and looked through it to see the future. With her giant black cow eyes she told me of my dark fate, she said…
“Speak Chinese! Rash is 皮疹 (Pízhěn), lucky numbers 54 23 53 89”
In other news, I had sex with a transexual.
Yours Truly, Deborah.
