January 2011
2 posts
3 tags
I have a time machine, I'm pro-life, and I know...
Need a friend who can sort out your life problems by tap-dancing in yellow body paint? Need a shoulder to cry on while your daughter video blogs against you? How about a high-voiced manimal that can knock over everything in your house in three seconds?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8fij0LIWgY&feature=related
6 tags
A new decade of Sparkle Mag.
Dear Sparkle Readers:
Another calendar has found itself out of pages, another decade is scratching its head wondering where all its thoughts are. Yes, the giant inflatable sex doll of 2010 has deflated. So, please, dearest readers, keep us in your thoughts and let us know what you would like from Sparkle Mag.
For instance, would you like more pictures of soccer teams in underwear? Would you like...
December 2010
1 post
5 tags
Hip Things in Brooklyn, 2011:
Ja, so you’ve heard. Brooklyn’s got some stuff — and I’m only talking about hip stuff. Not like stuff in, say, Brighton Beach. That’s just different.
The Civil War:
It may be 2011, but it’s still 1865 in Brooklyn. You want your your old jackets and epauletted shoulders? Check. You want your vintage nautical, railroad, hunting lodge, or Oregon Trail bars?...
November 2010
3 posts
Sparkle Butt
(Glitter Buttz), 2008 Ink-Jet Print 13” x 20 http://www.alistairmatthews.com/
5 tags
Man apparel.
Dear Sparkle Mag,
Recently I had a discussion with a friend about whether or not meggings were acceptable — meggings — you know, man leggings. See below:
Of course, the world of meggings is far and wide. The above example is less offensive than what I am about to show you below:
Regardless your feelings on the matter, I think we can agree on two basic meggings principles:
1)...
2 tags
1 tag
October 2010
5 posts
6 tags
Seriously: Just be a honky.
Dear Sparkle Mag —
Somedays I can’t just shake the feeling: I am just your average, white male. A non-race, a race with no decorum.
Each day I wake up and join the 74% of Americans who are white (there are 169,000,000 of us). I like music that is loosely considered “indie rock” and I am health conscious (I eat avocados, mangoes, sprouts, and I avoid salt). Unsurprisingly,...
My Gay Virginity
Growing up in a small very closed minded town, I never ventured into showing off my homosexual tendencies until I reached college. It was during my first semester that I was introduced to the world of online chatting, connecting with individuals who are also gay, which my closeted mined was completely baffled over and very intrigued.
The first person I had sex with I had chatted with on an...
“I think about you when I go to the bathroom.”
– Martha Plimpton in The Mosquito Coast
September 2010
4 posts
Disgusting Endings, a letter from your editor
Sparkle mag subscribers,
As a life coach it is imperative for you to keep updated on my personal life, and yes, this include the current state of my rashes.
On Saturday I finally bid farewell to New Jersey. I will make it my life duty to spread a smear campaign on this god forsaken state. Mickey Marinara once told me he wanted to clean up the streets of New Jersey but we all knew this was...
I Want to _____ an Indian
Dear Sparkle Readers,
For the last couple of weeks I’ve had to be in New Jersey for work, and in addition to the obvious perks (corpulent women with voices like belly hair, highways that lead to more highways that lead to sewers, rashes), there exists here in refreshing abundance that most ignored of delicacies- Indian people. I can’t get enough of them. They’re as cool as black...
4 tags
LGBTQ.
Dear Sparkle Mag —
Tonight I ordered Thai food, which is completely uncharacteristic of my ascetic way of living, but tonight I broke down when I realized my body was depleted of oil, cilantro, peanuts, and bland mushy vegetables.
I stalked over to Thai Cafe, the place with the broken plastic door that they’ll never fix, and wearing yellow tube socks and a hoodie I placed my order....
3 tags
Our Bodies, Ourselves.
Dear Sparkle Mag —
I think that I have become Special Agent Dale Cooper — you know the FBI operative staking out Twin Peaks in the hunt for BOB and Laura Palmer’s killer. I have three reasons to believe this metamorphosis is true:
1. I have a high nasally voice and many people think I’m from Nebraska
2. I am always video blogging, in my head
3. I always drink coffee and...
August 2010
2 posts
Fruit cake
Dear sparkle mag
I write to you under the sheets in a comfort inn in Raliegh NC
I recently went outside my room to grab a spoon at the lobby. I saw this couple making out by their door and they looked poor, unclean, and had bad hair cuts. I assumed they were on poster tour because we heard of another team stopping at this hotel. Well I look at this coulple and then I realize they are just...
4 tags
Dragon Tour
Dear SPARKLE MAG!
I have joined the ranks of the working man society and have started my iliad through the lush piney forests of the mid eastern coast of the US of A.
Today was my first day of work and I landed my self in Raleigh, North Carolina. This job requires us to be in a lot of places in short amounts of time, so we sort of never know where “here” is. This showed it self...
July 2010
11 posts
11 tags
Gaycation #2.
Dear Sparkle Mag —
So, I am about to go on my second gay-cation: a trip to Manuel Antonio State Park in Costa Rica with my boyfriend.
My first gay-cation was to Vancouver with a gaggle of gays in a fast car. We went to a club I can’t remember the name of and I ended up sleeping with an undergrad from the University of British Columbia. He was a bookish farm boy from mid-western...
SparkleMag featured in a Drunk Dial PSA
Check out these girls, they have an awesome show!! Find them at http://www.facebook.com/drunkdrunkdrunk
Message of the day
I GOT SOMETHING TO SAY.
A few months ago I had a grapefruit knee. Now that my knee has deflated I developed a weird inferiority complex that I am not worthy of a functional knee.
Today was my first day of school.
For those who do not know, I graduated from a notoriously known party state school located in upstate new york. Most people would agree that the campus looked like a...
4 tags
Boobgeosiessie.
Dear Constellation of Sparkles:
Today I joined the real bourgeoisie. First of all, as an English teacher I have great trouble even spelling bourgeoisie when I’m sober. Did I mention that I’m not sober. Ok fine. Now, today I left the bourariogsie. Why? Because today I bought an air conditioner. At first it was difficult to accept. I’m like, fuuuuhck, I am this fat pig and my...
2 tags
Would you rather be a heat wave or a cheat wave?
Dear Sparkle Mag:
In Brooklyn, official news wires say that this is a heatwave. My body is a soup that is cooking in itself. I have taken four showers today. I am so disgusting that I have eaten four meals off of my left arm, accidentally. The night sky is like a hot obese belly that is smothering me. I think like four ladies in Queens have died. Central Park is on fire. Weathermen are calling...
2 tags
The Raspberry Reich.
Hi Sparkle-opolis:
If you’d like to watch a great Bruce LaBruce film where male porn stars and ex-prostitutes try to spark sexual revolution, I’d recommend The Raspberry Reich. I watched it last night and now I am even more ready to support the homosexual intifada.
Animated Logo
Look what I did! I dont know why it flashes white sometimes… Is that just my computer?
New blog post!
So I am testing out this new blog posting site, its Tumblr, it will just make updating the blog a lot easier.
If you want to see all our old blog posts click this link
Sparkle mag has awaken from a deep slumber. Issue three is now almost done. We have a lot of prizes in each magazine.
So a lot of things are going on. We have a lot of great art work from our INTERNATIONAL contributers. We...